I have like five friends. Okay that’s not true, I have like five friends that are local that I see outside of work. Most of my friends since I graduated college have moved to other states or just other areas of my state so I don’t see them a lot. To be perfectly honest, most of my friends I have met at work or still work with me. One of my best friends is my roommate and coworker so in a lot of ways we don’t hang out, we just are around each other 24/7.
I figured it was time to broaden my friendship horizons. Since I am no longer in college, it frankly isn’t as easy to just make friends. I’m going to the same job every day and I clearly do not have club meetings where I can meet new friends. So how do I make friends?
Turn to a dating app of course!
Bumble is a dating app I have very noncommittally because I don’t like having to send the first message, it stresses me out. So an app where I have to talk to the men first isn’t my favorite. I guess the idea is it is supposed to be designed with a more female driven audience and puts women in control. In the attempt to appeal to the millennial woman, Bumble has a BFF section. It is the exact same concept as all the other dating apps. Swipe on someone you find appealing and hope its a match and then hope they answer you. I decided this was how I was going to make friends.
Since it should not matter what my friends look like, I blindly swiped right on everyone. I learned Bumble does not have a limit on right swipes, at least in the BFF section, so I only swiped until my thumb got tired. Out of all my swiping, I didn’t get any matches. I was shook. I became aware that this is probably what men feel like on dating apps. Swiping for hours with no results. I’ll admit, it was disheartening. Still doesn’t give guys the right to be douches but I can kind of see the frustration.
About an hour later I received one match. I was very excited but didn’t want to seem too eager, plus it was time for me to use the sleep.
I woke up to one new friend and a notification that if I paid for Bumble, I could see the two people interested in becoming friends with me that I hadn’t swiped blindly on. It’s a no from me, I’m not paying to take the mystery out of this. Around ten am, I got another two matches. I was over the moon because maybe I could finally make friends.
I ended up talking to two girls on this day. While I was talking to both of them, I became very aware that I do not know how to talk to girls. I also don’t know how to talk on these apps to people who are just friends, not potential partners. It was frankly a really weird middle ground to try to reach.
One girl and I talked about wine but then the conversation died.
Another asked me a lot about my job which led me to be stressed out.
Since it is still Bumble, you only have 24 hours to send a message or the match goes away. I accidentally let two matches expire because I suck.
DAY THREE AND FOUR
I woke up and tried to do a bunch more swiping to try to still make friends. Swiped for a long time and again, no immediate matches. The day was busy for me at work so I did not try to talk to anyone. I got some more matches which was nice. Then proceeded to let all of those matches expire because again, I suck. I did more swiping to try to make up for it and RAN OUT OF PEOPLE!
Running out of people was a clear sign that my experiment was over. Since then, I haven’t had any other friend matches. I guess it wasn’t meant to be, having friend’s nearby and outside of work. Oh well.